Be with someone who comes from a broken family

Children from a broken family are often misunderstood. Judged as being different, some people taught they are difficult to deal with. Though statistically speaking, children who came from a broken family manifest disturbing behaviors growing up. Though it takes time, some of them managed to prove themselves that being in a broken family is a blessing, not a curse.

And here’s some of the positive side of them.

They are emotionally stronger. People from a broken family know how to handle different kind of emotions like abandonment, guilt, unhappiness, anger and well, happiness. Experiencing this roller-coaster-kind-of-life enhances them to become strong. They believe even the hardest point of their life won’t knock them down.

They can accept that no one is perfect and it’s okay. Dealing with the not-so-perfect parents sure made them question their existence on earth. But can accept that some things in life are happening beyond their control. They carry this realization as they interact with people with various personalities. They accept that a person is prone to commit errors like themselves.

They are the most loyal and values trust more than anything. Being able to experience rejection and abandonment, they tend to shield themselves from getting hurt again. People see them as a person with a cold-heart and difficult to deal with but they act like one to spare themselves from dealing with the episodes of taken for granted. Loyalty matters to them and they give it to someone worth keeping.

They are independent and motivated. Being in a broken home, the urge of getting away from crap is intense that they use the negativity to motivate themselves. They channel their disappointments and frustrations by giving their full potential to anything they are on. They compete with no one but themselves. They can rise up even with the absence of help from anyone because they know their success depends on them alone. They believe they can succeed with or without help.

They are open-minded. Being in a dysfunctional family opens many options and opportunities for them to work on. They are not afraid to take risks and positive enough to try each of them. With life’s complexity, they tend to embrace different ideas until they find convenient ways to get to their common goals.

They know how to laugh and have a good time. They find ways to be happy; they don’t just drown with the fact that they came from a broken family and that they don’t deserved to be happy. Some are putting masks to hide their true feelings, others are exposing themselves to show that life doesn't end there and they don’t need a complete family to be happy.

They will make sure their children will be happy. They will make sure they’re going to marry the person who accepts who they are and will work things out to keep the family intact. They will make sure their children will never feel unloved and unwanted. They will become a better parent. They will never do anything that could hurt their future children and they don’t want them to feel the same mess again.

They value simple things in life. Appreciating little things in life makes them happy. They appreciate simple over the grandest things. They know material things cannot give them happiness. A person who came from a broken family can identify people in need and they know how to make them feel better. Their purpose in life is not being the best. They measure their fulfillment by helping others and they feel blessed, that is all that matters.

Be with someone who comes from a broken family. Though winning their trust takes a lot of effort but they are loyal than everyone else. They may be sad at first, but later they realize that life is beautiful and that life, whatever happens, must go on. They feel blessed and can get through anything.Some of them hungers for attention and the feel of being loved. But they realize that self-love is more important than anything else. And the positive side will follow.

First published on Medium.com 

Camiguin : The Island Born of Fire

Mt. Hibok-hibok, an active volcano seen along the highway of Camiguin

February 20, I had to wake up early for an early flight to the Island Born of Fire, Camiguin.

After about 45 minutes, a bit earlier than the usual arrival via Cebu Pacific RP-7252, a twin-engine ATR brought us from Mactan Cebu Aiport to Mambajao Airport. It was a fine sunny day, perfect for exploring the island we picked for a  two-day vacation. We had arranged our place to stay at Pabua's Cottages at Yumbing Mambajao, about 10 to 15 minutes away from the airport and a walking distance from the port to the White Island.   

Day 1 was intended for the island tour and our local guide, Kuya Jojo Ocular (09059566288) was kind enough to show us around some of the top tourist spots in the island. He picked us up at the airport and have ourselves checked-in at Pabua's and off we went to the usual spots in Camiguin. Our tour started at about 8:00AM and ended about 4:00PM. All tourist destinations in the island are maintained by the local government so the entrance fee to each spots only costs about P30 to P50 per person. The places were much different from the other Philippine spots I've visited, could have  improved but it gave me a feeling of being in an island untouched by commercialization, an island protected by locals. You may click the links of the featured spot for full photos. 

First Stop : SUNKEN CEMETERY  

Amazing Sunken Cemetery
 

The community cemetery which sunk during the 1871 volcanic eruption lies below the marked cross in Catarman. By the viewing deck, the sea was a bit calm and when the clouds cleared up from a cloudy-state, I took a lot of photos of the cross and it produced a lot like this. The dramatic Sunken Cemetery's aura captured my heart.

Second Stop : OLD CHURCH RUINS 

Enchanting Old Church Ruins

Not far from the Sunken Cemetery, the Old Church Ruins stood more than a hundred years old as a reminder of  the 1871 volcanic eruption that swallowed some parts of the island. The huge stoned-walls stood silently strong and became green with the moss covering it. Like other century-old ruins, I felt like I was  transported back to the Spanish era. The whole place is serene, with tall trees around the area and a bit eerie. 

Third Stop : STO. NINO COLD SPRING 

Refreshing Sto. Nino Cold Spring

About 2km from the main road of Catarman, was a bumpy ride reaching  the Sto. Nino Cold Spring. The water was surprisingly clear and about 20°C colder. The place is ideal for family get-away. We had lunch at their restaurant, happily trying the local food cooked the Camiguin way. The island according to my research has about 3 wonderful springs. Sto. Nino is just one of them. 

Fourth stop : KATIBAWASAN FALLS

Enchanting Katibawasan Falls

Like a scene from a movie, this 250-ft waterfall was just amazingly beautiful. The cool water refreshes your body and at the same time enjoying your time spent with nature. I love how the waterfall looked from a distance, its symmetrical natural design on the slopes of Mt. Timpoong was just amazing. The greens surrounding the Katibawasan Falls  is just pleasing  to the eyes and the thunder-like roar of the waterfall serves as a therapy for me -- being away from the fast-paced city life.  

Fifth Stop : BURA NATURAL SODA RESORT 

Interesting Bura Soda Resort 

The resort was recently developed by the local government where tourists can enjoy the natural water from an underground water source, and yes, it tastes like soda. They even made a drinking station located somewhere behind a big rock right across the entrance gate and out of curiosity, I tried it. It tastes like soda indeed, much like unsweetened Sprite. The pool water at Bura Soda Resort was refreshingly cold too though Sto.Nino Cold Spring was colder. 

 Last Stop for Day 1 : ARDENT HIBOK-HIBOK HOT SPRING 

Relaxing Ardent Hibok-Hibok Hot Spring 

Our guide brought us to this wonderful Ardent Hibok-Hibok Hot Spring, one of the most visited spot in the island. Located at the foot of Mt. Hibok-Hibok, an active volcano among the seven volcanoes in the island. The hot spring has five different pools which water temperature ranges from 35°C to as hot as 40°C. Mini springs  seen along the pools and the water temperature is relaxing for everyone. This is what I call, Life -- free from stress and reconnecting with nature is just one of the best things to do when in Camiguin Island. Dipping on a relaxing pool, I thought of my parents, I will make a way somehow to get them to this wonderful place. 

Day 1 island tour has ended. It was past 4:00PM. We headed back to Pabua's to recharge for the next day's activity. We had dinner at the Checkpoint Restaurant which serves sumptuous Filipino cuisine and surprisingly with about 4 dishes, our bill was only P620!  

Sumptuous and inexpensive dinner at the Checkpoint Restaurant 

Day 2 :WHITE ISLAND 

Beautiful White Island of Camiguin 

Pabua's Cottages also arranges boat transfers to and from the White Island for only P450.  Arriving at about 7:30AM, the white C-shaped sandbar was already flocked with tourists. Our boatman made sure we had our life vest on during the 10-min boat trip since that day was a bit rough at sea. White Island looked interesting at a distance, a sandbar about 1km off shore which changes its shape and size with the season. By the time I hit the sand, it was as beautiful as I expected. 

Good for photoshoot with Mt. Hibok-Hibok and Old Mt. Vulcan as your background 

White Island is good for snorkeling too. With a local guide, is was fun being underwater. With the strong current around the island, he made sure we didn't stay longer since the water at that time was due for high tide, as he said, the current might sweep us off the snorkeling site. 

Little fishes at the "Black corals" on the other side of the sandbar

After staying for about four hours under the sun, snorkeling and enjoying the pristine waters at the White Island, we called up our boatman to carry us back to the mainland. You  have an option for your boatman to either wait for you on the island or arranged the  pick up time back to the port.  

Perfect escape from city-life, don't you think? 

Our flight back to Cebu was at about 7:00AM and with much accomplishment and regained energy, we boarded our plane with the thought of coming back to this island. 

The ATR that arrived from Cebu is the same plane that carries us back to MCIA

Cebu Pacific Air has 4 flights per week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday) departing from Cebu at 6:10AM and arriving in Camiguin at 7:00AM. The return flight  will leave from Camiguin at 7:20AM and will arrive in Cebu at 8:10AM. 


Camiguin Island has full of surprises. Like Bohol Island, the simple way of living is what attracts me to the place. I could spent everyday at the hot spring or lay all day at the sands of the White Island. It was a memorable experience. I will definitely go back and experience it over and over again. 

Why going slow helps you get through Life?

photo by skybertus, Hwaseong, South Korea

Why going slow helps you get through Life?

Monday. As I was enjoying my usual cup of coffee, some people I’ve been working with seem to be in a stressful mode. So stressful that it affects me. I have come to realize that sometimes, the faster we try to go, the slower we can go. This leads to the usual frustrations, stress and restlessness.

So why “going slow” helps us to get through Life?

Going slow teaches us to enjoy the small things. Happiness usually comes in appreciating even the smallest details of everything we have. Take a break. Insert a coffee break with friends. Spend more time with your family.Take time to finish a book or make time to enjoy your hobby. Go out and enjoy nature; because small things matters.

Going slow can help you plan effectively. A lot of things to consider when making big decisions in life. At times, we decide too fast and fail too often. We fail to make a list of the things we learned from past mistakes. Weigh things well, reflect, forecast and with a little faith, the things lined up for you will happen at a perfect timing.

It teaches us to be more patient. It’s hard to master the art of being patient. Great things do come to those who wait, they say. Sometimes, little miracles happen during the waiting period. How we “behave” during this period defines who we are.

Everything cannot be done at 100% speed. People need a break. Even machines need a preventive maintenance every once in a while. In order for them to be in their constant best results, a little rest and working a slow pace is good for them. Humans need that too.

We get the right things done. Accurate planning and perfect timing are one of the key ingredients in getting the right things done. Slowly but surely, they say. Executing the plan at a slow pace helps you track and improve certain tasks that is essential to your goals.

Working at a slow pace enhances your working relationship with others. When you’re working with a team, pushing things burns out the people you are working with. It’s all about getting on track with the common goal. Hastening people, creates a gap or dissatisfying results in the end. There’s nothing wrong with pushing people around, as long as it motivates them to get better results.

Taking a deep breath as I finish my coffee, I remind myself of the to-do list lined up for me that day. Well, life is beautiful. It’s mere purpose is to live it with utmost happiness.

Also published on Medium.com |Go Slow| 

The New You for the New Year

by skybertus

New year. Fresh start. New beginnings. New challenges. New  you.

People may  be  tired of hearing the words "new year resolutions", an overrated words most people use every time a new year approaches. But hey, making  new year resolutions is not that bad though, after all, keeping and maintaining your promises are  reflections of your character.   This year, I won't use those words but just listing out a few improvements or easily doable bucketlist for the incoming year and these would sum up in four words --- Enjoy.  Improve. Convenience. Explore.

< ENJOY >

Life has a lot of challenges for us to beat up. Surviving it all makes it a fulfillment  but being grateful why it happened is another thing. This year, time management is essential when doing our daily work-life balance. Enjoy simple things in life. Your main purpose in the world is not just to live in God's glory but being a blessing to others.

• Be grateful
• Spend more time with nature
• Gain positivity by giving out more
• Less time on Social Media, more time with Books
• Reward yourself with every gained achievements
• As much as possible, spend a lot of time with  family
• Cultivate your spiritual relationship with your Creator
• Share your blessings not just with your family but with strangers
• Appreciate every sunrise and every sunset, make sure to see it before the  day ends
• Change your idea of having fun (from heavy partying to enjoying solitude)
• Make a usual daily encounter with an elderly of at least 60+ year old and as young as 5-year old child

< IMPROVE >

Working in a  manufacturing company, I have been teaching people to implement KAIZEN, a Japanese term for "continuous improvement". Get into the habit of  improving yourself each day. For me, why not practice Kaizen daily then? 

• Plan, Do, Check, Act, Evaluate  
• Hold your temper, always
• Get into a fitness program to stay in shape
• Know the things you're best at and enhance it
• Read self-improvement and inspirational books, listen to TED Talks
• Tidy things ups up, set things in order, set standards of clearing everything up
• Enhance discipline by asking someone to push you when you're "tempted" to quit
• Save and spend wisely (set aside at least 20% of your earnings and invest)
• Set long-term goals and plan ahead (financial, career goals, personal goals, etc.)

< CONVENIENCE >

As mentioned earlier, time management is very essential  in everything  we do. Simplify things to get the work done. Do not be afraid to try new things, especially those innovations that are useful to our daily life.

• Embrace  practicality
• Focus on quality, not on quantity
• Sell or give away the things you no longer use
• Learn the art of recycling and do-it-yourself projects
• Learn to embrace the "all-in-one" tagline on products
• Automate your usual work, things, etc.  for easy control
• Go online (banking, bills payment, transportation bookings, hotel reservations, etc)
• Invest on things you are interested in (like perhaps selling make-ups to get free ones for yourself)
• Get into online shopping -- just make sure they are reliable (like ZALORA,WEEMALL, Lazada, etc)

< EXPLORE >

Life is short. It is meant to be explored. You are limitless. Know and enhance yourself more.  Discover what life has to offer. A lot of wonderful opportunities are waiting for you. Take risks. Take a lot of chances or you may never get it again.

• Try to travel alone
• Get into at least one place you've never been to
• Discover local culture first before learning other countries'
• Travel as much as you can (do research on travel websites, magazines, consider recommendations from friends when planning a vacation)
• Create an online journal or blog like Medium or Blogspot (who knows, you have a thing for writing and create a site where people can relate to or this could be a piece of you where your future great grandchildren would refer to)
• Learn another foreign language (trust me, it helps)
• List your Top 3 adventures you've been dying to do and make it a reality

At the end of the year, let's see if these things are being done. Have a great year ahead!


Also published on Medium.com |The New You for the New Year| 

Coffee, My Constant Drug

I have to admit I am a bit addicted to it. With my work where sometimes coffee is needed and especially during those times when boredom, stress or sleepiness visits me, I appreciate a cup of coffee.

Aside from being an anti-oxidant, coffee just brings in the calmness I need and somehow it became my usual companion when I need one.

No, I am not here for any brand-campaign. As a coffee-addict, trying out various coffee beverages happens to be part of the urge of “wanting more and more” of it. Aside from the health benefits I get from coffee-drinking, the following are my realizations why coffee has been my constant drug.

1. Coffee keeps me awake

Obviously, this is the main reason it exist. To keep me up all night, studying for school examinations, ward off sleepiness when I’m on night shift at work or anything that should keep me alert, coffee has been my usual companion.

2. Coffee stirs my creativity and imagination

I can write better with coffee. It must have been the effects of caffeine but coffee has been my constant source of inspiration when I write, as perhaps, this blog. Coffee cultivates creativeness and somehow fuels my imagination. I tried writing without it once, it was awful.

3. Coffee reduces stress

Let’s face it, coping up with stress happens everyday. In my case, work gives me a lot of stress and this is one of the reasons why I’d consume about four mugful of coffee a day (well, except from the fact that it’s quite addicting). The sound of brewing coffee, the bitter aroma of it, hey, it works.

4. Coffee lets me enjoy the company of friends

Drinking coffee in cafes is one of the good excuses to get together with friends. Intelligent conversations or merely chitchat about mundane things, being with friends is never a dull moment. Coffee just makes the meeting more fun and enjoyable.

5. Coffee cures hangover and migraine

I admit I was a weekend drinker when I was younger and waking up with a hangover the next day was my usual scene. Black coffee happens to be one of my immediate solutions. Migraine is such a nuisance for me especially at work but relief may be taken with a cup of black coffee.

6. Coffee helps me enjoy solitude

Solitude, we need it. To be with ourselves again. To get in touch with our inner child. To assess what shall be our next move when Life tries to play games on us. To enjoy our stillness. To energize us. To appreciate nature. To hear The Voice within. Coffee allows me to breathe. Coffee allows me to ME again.

7. Coffee makes me happy

I couldn't deny the fact that coffee makes me happy. As I mentioned earlier, the sound of brewing coffee seems like music to my ears. Its aroma wakes up the sleeping part of me. It calms me. It soothes me. It helps me enjoy little things in life. It helps me appreciate time, stillness and that time-stopping moment when you are having your first sip. Coffee makes me understand Life even more.

And so I thank God for making coffee.


Also published on Medium.com |Coffee, My Constant Drug| 

Couples who fight and make up : Don’t worry, it’s healthy

 

Can a fight strengthen a relationship? Depends.

Perhaps, you've been asking the same question too. Let’s face it : even people who are madly in love with each other will fight eventually. Certain arguments often test the couples’ love, respect and patience with each other. Having conflicts and arguments does not mean they are not compatible and fighting does not always have to end up in messy breakups. As long as the couple is having a “fair fight”, it may strengthen their relationship because they COMMUNICATE.

If you are in a relationship where common fights are inevitable, let me list down the positive side of it. Normally, couples who fight a lot may go through these five phases to a stronger bond — or goes into a breakup.

We love

When we love, apparently our significant other glows in front of us : flaws tend to dissolve hoping these shall change during the course of the relationship. A love that is strong, we tend to think NOTHING can break the relationship apart.

We argue

We compromise a lot. It may not always be 50/50, at times 60/40 or 70/30 but we compromise. Out of respect. Out of love and for our significant other’s happiness. But we get tired eventually and when we do, we go into little rebellions. We tend to fight for what we want, what we deserve, what we thought as “this time, it’s my turn.”. We tell our significant other our side, we persuade the other person to accept the idea that we are correct. We argue.

We fight

This is the highest form of argument when both parties don’t agree: fighting. It may be cold wars, giving each other space, word wars or anything associated with emotional pain. In this phase, we realize that the same person who makes us happy is the same person who makes us sad. Communication happens at this point. Mature couples try a respectful, structured way of confronting issues or fair-fighting (no blaming, talking softly, sticking to the issue, listening, looking for a common ground, being open minded, etc). This is also a make-or-break phase; either we stay or leave.

We make up

When we decide to accept the situation, the essence of true love sets in. By embracing conflicts, we realize we have a lot to learn. Cooperation ends fighting. Respect plays a big role when resolving conflicts. Love should be the core value of the relationship. Trust cultivates the bond. Prayers strengthens faith. Acceptance provides relief. We make up to let the other person feel more special. We forgive and move on.

We love even more

Everything feels brand new. We let go. We list down the lessons learned. We rebuild our trust and adjust expectations. We accept that everything in this world is not perfect and that we get hurt and bounce back at some point. We realize that unconditional love is patient and kind. We make peace. It takes two souls to make the relationship work. As long as there is a strong love, both can endure through any trials and circumstances. Forgiveness becomes the default button in resolving conflicts that strengthens the relationship.

Having a healthy relationship depends on the couple. Love, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, patience and having a God-centered life are essential for a long-lasting relationship.

First published on Medium.com |Couples who fight and make up|

How Life Changed the Way I look at Things

by skybertus (wander_with_sky) 

Armin van Buuren’s “Alone” is blaring loudly on my eardrum. The song somehow made me realize it is actually telling the truth. It made me smile; now I have something to write about. Sipping my hot coffee while feeling the repetitive drops of rain against my roof, I reach out to my blank journal and began to write. This is one those afternoons where the most pressing thing you have to do was nothing; when an idea comes to my head, my fingers suddenly become busy. 

The Armin song was ranting about being alone, telling me connectivity has lost its meaning when no one is connecting. Are we really? Are we well-connected with life? Well, let me talk about life (my favorite subject of all time). Life is often weird. In most cases, life is funny. Some people think life is always playing little tricks on them. Some thought life has been harsh and unfair. But for me --- I like it. 

Since I'm a not-so-full-grown adult now, maybe I could list down some of the realizations life has been feeding me. I know some people would laugh at me now, but who cares? Each of us has its own way of dealing Life. What matters most is, were you able to deal life pretty well? 


Life is simple when we were kids. Ah yes! That freedom! I can say that I had an awesome childhood. Seeing  kids nowadays, I realize that my childhood was something I am thankful for. It was never boring, I was pretty active and I believe I have punched a lot of kids during my time. When you're a child, happiness means being under the sun playing with your friends or running naked under a heavy downpour. Happiness mostly comes naturally, without lifting a finger to get it. As I grow older, I learned that happiness has different definitions. Happiness usually happens after you decide on something, carefully thinking of the consequences you might be facing after. Life is pretty tricky, sometimes.  


We grow in phases. I wore boy-clothes when I was young; I was crazy with anime when I was in college; I was a weekend drinker; I thought life would be good if I didn't take it seriously. We grow through these phases. Shifting usually comes at a certain point when we least expect it. Realization comes when we grow tired of the things we usually do and thought we could do much better. By a snap of a finger, you would wear skirt and high heels; you read better books; you drink adult milk or wine  instead of beer; you take life seriously. 

Healing can't done overnight. Time becomes your constant friend when you're hurting. People are born to get hurt, as my other blog says. As you grow older, nursing a broken heart or a broken soul is not the same as taking care of a scrapped knee. Forgiveness, acceptance, prayer and moving on are the key essentials needed to overcome whatever hurt you are dealing with. You will be surprised how you emerge stronger, wiser, fiercer and confident enough to face another one on the way. 

Respect is earned, not given 
(Self-explanatory)

True friends are rare. Oh I have a lot of friends. Different set of friends, different circles. But I can count those who are really true. I don't believe that your true friends are those who were with you since your kindergarten days, but rather those who are honest with you, brave enough to accept, correct your flaws but loves you at the same time. True friends push you to greater heights; those who extend an arm, expecting nothing in return. True friends never tolerate your wickedness, brings you to the light and helping you to become a better person, and oh, those who never strike behind your back.

Climb so high, fall so low. We all run in circles. We sometimes think we are above everyone at a certain point. Being on top is quite addicting. We enjoy the feeling of being blown away by fame, luck, money and being looked up to. Yet we forget the reason why we are up there --  to be a blessing to those under us; to inspire people and lift them up; to continue what was in a circle. But life is funny sometimes. We became sinusoidal. We fall, we rise.  It is true that life knows how to make a good fall for us to realize where we stand.  

Sometimes, what we are looking for comes, when we are not looking at all. I bet some will agree with me. When we lose hope and by the moment we let go, the ones we long for appear in front of us, unexpectedly. Yes, life teaches us to be patient. Life knows when we really need it or it was never intended for you. Don't push. Life knows when you are ready and if you deserve to have it, life will give it to you willingly. Remember, great things do come to those who patiently wait. 

Being true means getting away from the crowd. When I was young, I told myself I was unique. Yet, I do what other people think is acceptable to them. I tend to compete like other people. I bought the latest gadgets to become one of the "now-ist". I put on makeup to blend with the crowd. I dress to make an impression. But now, I realized that I don't have to pretend to be adorable. Trying to outsmart the smart isn't my current scene of happiness but by respecting their beliefs, understanding their goals and being able to exchange useful ideas to improve one's self is way better. Telling people how you live a God-centered life when they see the different you, cursing and telling lies about people, oh what an unhappy life you have! I know their realization will come in due time. True people know how to spot a real one.  Not being pretty gave me my life; it made me smarter, it made me funny, I enjoy intelligent conversations, I motivate. I find time to look for my red lipstick but more time leaving it behind.

Solitude matters 
I love the company of friends. Most of the time, I am never alone. I was never alone. In fact, I hate doing things by myself. If I am crying, I want to do it with somebody even more when I am laughing. As I grow older, I realize that I enjoy being alone sometimes; to reassess myself, to reconnect with my inner child, to sort things out and to clear the mess my life had become. You need to be alone, trust me. It's one way of finding yourself again. As the saying goes, "Solitude matters, for some people, it's the air they breathe". 


Oppss, I ran out of coffee now.  I guess my other realizations shall be revealed after my second cup.


Also published on Medium.com |Nine Realizations that changed my Life|