The New You for the New Year

by skybertus

New year. Fresh start. New beginnings. New challenges. New  you.

People may  be  tired of hearing the words "new year resolutions", an overrated words most people use every time a new year approaches. But hey, making  new year resolutions is not that bad though, after all, keeping and maintaining your promises are  reflections of your character.   This year, I won't use those words but just listing out a few improvements or easily doable bucketlist for the incoming year and these would sum up in four words --- Enjoy.  Improve. Convenience. Explore.

< ENJOY >

Life has a lot of challenges for us to beat up. Surviving it all makes it a fulfillment  but being grateful why it happened is another thing. This year, time management is essential when doing our daily work-life balance. Enjoy simple things in life. Your main purpose in the world is not just to live in God's glory but being a blessing to others.

• Be grateful
• Spend more time with nature
• Gain positivity by giving out more
• Less time on Social Media, more time with Books
• Reward yourself with every gained achievements
• As much as possible, spend a lot of time with  family
• Cultivate your spiritual relationship with your Creator
• Share your blessings not just with your family but with strangers
• Appreciate every sunrise and every sunset, make sure to see it before the  day ends
• Change your idea of having fun (from heavy partying to enjoying solitude)
• Make a usual daily encounter with an elderly of at least 60+ year old and as young as 5-year old child

< IMPROVE >

Working in a  manufacturing company, I have been teaching people to implement KAIZEN, a Japanese term for "continuous improvement". Get into the habit of  improving yourself each day. For me, why not practice Kaizen daily then? 

• Plan, Do, Check, Act, Evaluate  
• Hold your temper, always
• Get into a fitness program to stay in shape
• Know the things you're best at and enhance it
• Read self-improvement and inspirational books, listen to TED Talks
• Tidy things ups up, set things in order, set standards of clearing everything up
• Enhance discipline by asking someone to push you when you're "tempted" to quit
• Save and spend wisely (set aside at least 20% of your earnings and invest)
• Set long-term goals and plan ahead (financial, career goals, personal goals, etc.)

< CONVENIENCE >

As mentioned earlier, time management is very essential  in everything  we do. Simplify things to get the work done. Do not be afraid to try new things, especially those innovations that are useful to our daily life.

• Embrace  practicality
• Focus on quality, not on quantity
• Sell or give away the things you no longer use
• Learn the art of recycling and do-it-yourself projects
• Learn to embrace the "all-in-one" tagline on products
• Automate your usual work, things, etc.  for easy control
• Go online (banking, bills payment, transportation bookings, hotel reservations, etc)
• Invest on things you are interested in (like perhaps selling make-ups to get free ones for yourself)
• Get into online shopping -- just make sure they are reliable (like ZALORA,WEEMALL, Lazada, etc)

< EXPLORE >

Life is short. It is meant to be explored. You are limitless. Know and enhance yourself more.  Discover what life has to offer. A lot of wonderful opportunities are waiting for you. Take risks. Take a lot of chances or you may never get it again.

• Try to travel alone
• Get into at least one place you've never been to
• Discover local culture first before learning other countries'
• Travel as much as you can (do research on travel websites, magazines, consider recommendations from friends when planning a vacation)
• Create an online journal or blog like Medium or Blogspot (who knows, you have a thing for writing and create a site where people can relate to or this could be a piece of you where your future great grandchildren would refer to)
• Learn another foreign language (trust me, it helps)
• List your Top 3 adventures you've been dying to do and make it a reality

At the end of the year, let's see if these things are being done. Have a great year ahead!


Also published on Medium.com |The New You for the New Year| 

Coffee, My Constant Drug

I have to admit I am a bit addicted to it. With my work where sometimes coffee is needed and especially during those times when boredom, stress or sleepiness visits me, I appreciate a cup of coffee.

Aside from being an anti-oxidant, coffee just brings in the calmness I need and somehow it became my usual companion when I need one.

No, I am not here for any brand-campaign. As a coffee-addict, trying out various coffee beverages happens to be part of the urge of “wanting more and more” of it. Aside from the health benefits I get from coffee-drinking, the following are my realizations why coffee has been my constant drug.

1. Coffee keeps me awake

Obviously, this is the main reason it exist. To keep me up all night, studying for school examinations, ward off sleepiness when I’m on night shift at work or anything that should keep me alert, coffee has been my usual companion.

2. Coffee stirs my creativity and imagination

I can write better with coffee. It must have been the effects of caffeine but coffee has been my constant source of inspiration when I write, as perhaps, this blog. Coffee cultivates creativeness and somehow fuels my imagination. I tried writing without it once, it was awful.

3. Coffee reduces stress

Let’s face it, coping up with stress happens everyday. In my case, work gives me a lot of stress and this is one of the reasons why I’d consume about four mugful of coffee a day (well, except from the fact that it’s quite addicting). The sound of brewing coffee, the bitter aroma of it, hey, it works.

4. Coffee lets me enjoy the company of friends

Drinking coffee in cafes is one of the good excuses to get together with friends. Intelligent conversations or merely chitchat about mundane things, being with friends is never a dull moment. Coffee just makes the meeting more fun and enjoyable.

5. Coffee cures hangover and migraine

I admit I was a weekend drinker when I was younger and waking up with a hangover the next day was my usual scene. Black coffee happens to be one of my immediate solutions. Migraine is such a nuisance for me especially at work but relief may be taken with a cup of black coffee.

6. Coffee helps me enjoy solitude

Solitude, we need it. To be with ourselves again. To get in touch with our inner child. To assess what shall be our next move when Life tries to play games on us. To enjoy our stillness. To energize us. To appreciate nature. To hear The Voice within. Coffee allows me to breathe. Coffee allows me to ME again.

7. Coffee makes me happy

I couldn't deny the fact that coffee makes me happy. As I mentioned earlier, the sound of brewing coffee seems like music to my ears. Its aroma wakes up the sleeping part of me. It calms me. It soothes me. It helps me enjoy little things in life. It helps me appreciate time, stillness and that time-stopping moment when you are having your first sip. Coffee makes me understand Life even more.

And so I thank God for making coffee.


Also published on Medium.com |Coffee, My Constant Drug| 

Couples who fight and make up : Don’t worry, it’s healthy

 

Can a fight strengthen a relationship? Depends.

Perhaps, you've been asking the same question too. Let’s face it : even people who are madly in love with each other will fight eventually. Certain arguments often test the couples’ love, respect and patience with each other. Having conflicts and arguments does not mean they are not compatible and fighting does not always have to end up in messy breakups. As long as the couple is having a “fair fight”, it may strengthen their relationship because they COMMUNICATE.

If you are in a relationship where common fights are inevitable, let me list down the positive side of it. Normally, couples who fight a lot may go through these five phases to a stronger bond — or goes into a breakup.

We love

When we love, apparently our significant other glows in front of us : flaws tend to dissolve hoping these shall change during the course of the relationship. A love that is strong, we tend to think NOTHING can break the relationship apart.

We argue

We compromise a lot. It may not always be 50/50, at times 60/40 or 70/30 but we compromise. Out of respect. Out of love and for our significant other’s happiness. But we get tired eventually and when we do, we go into little rebellions. We tend to fight for what we want, what we deserve, what we thought as “this time, it’s my turn.”. We tell our significant other our side, we persuade the other person to accept the idea that we are correct. We argue.

We fight

This is the highest form of argument when both parties don’t agree: fighting. It may be cold wars, giving each other space, word wars or anything associated with emotional pain. In this phase, we realize that the same person who makes us happy is the same person who makes us sad. Communication happens at this point. Mature couples try a respectful, structured way of confronting issues or fair-fighting (no blaming, talking softly, sticking to the issue, listening, looking for a common ground, being open minded, etc). This is also a make-or-break phase; either we stay or leave.

We make up

When we decide to accept the situation, the essence of true love sets in. By embracing conflicts, we realize we have a lot to learn. Cooperation ends fighting. Respect plays a big role when resolving conflicts. Love should be the core value of the relationship. Trust cultivates the bond. Prayers strengthens faith. Acceptance provides relief. We make up to let the other person feel more special. We forgive and move on.

We love even more

Everything feels brand new. We let go. We list down the lessons learned. We rebuild our trust and adjust expectations. We accept that everything in this world is not perfect and that we get hurt and bounce back at some point. We realize that unconditional love is patient and kind. We make peace. It takes two souls to make the relationship work. As long as there is a strong love, both can endure through any trials and circumstances. Forgiveness becomes the default button in resolving conflicts that strengthens the relationship.

Having a healthy relationship depends on the couple. Love, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, patience and having a God-centered life are essential for a long-lasting relationship.

First published on Medium.com |Couples who fight and make up|

How Life Changed the Way I look at Things

by skybertus (wander_with_sky) 

Armin van Buuren’s “Alone” is blaring loudly on my eardrum. The song somehow made me realize it is actually telling the truth. It made me smile; now I have something to write about. Sipping my hot coffee while feeling the repetitive drops of rain against my roof, I reach out to my blank journal and began to write. This is one those afternoons where the most pressing thing you have to do was nothing; when an idea comes to my head, my fingers suddenly become busy. 

The Armin song was ranting about being alone, telling me connectivity has lost its meaning when no one is connecting. Are we really? Are we well-connected with life? Well, let me talk about life (my favorite subject of all time). Life is often weird. In most cases, life is funny. Some people think life is always playing little tricks on them. Some thought life has been harsh and unfair. But for me --- I like it. 

Since I'm a not-so-full-grown adult now, maybe I could list down some of the realizations life has been feeding me. I know some people would laugh at me now, but who cares? Each of us has its own way of dealing Life. What matters most is, were you able to deal life pretty well? 


Life is simple when we were kids. Ah yes! That freedom! I can say that I had an awesome childhood. Seeing  kids nowadays, I realize that my childhood was something I am thankful for. It was never boring, I was pretty active and I believe I have punched a lot of kids during my time. When you're a child, happiness means being under the sun playing with your friends or running naked under a heavy downpour. Happiness mostly comes naturally, without lifting a finger to get it. As I grow older, I learned that happiness has different definitions. Happiness usually happens after you decide on something, carefully thinking of the consequences you might be facing after. Life is pretty tricky, sometimes.  


We grow in phases. I wore boy-clothes when I was young; I was crazy with anime when I was in college; I was a weekend drinker; I thought life would be good if I didn't take it seriously. We grow through these phases. Shifting usually comes at a certain point when we least expect it. Realization comes when we grow tired of the things we usually do and thought we could do much better. By a snap of a finger, you would wear skirt and high heels; you read better books; you drink adult milk or wine  instead of beer; you take life seriously. 

Healing can't done overnight. Time becomes your constant friend when you're hurting. People are born to get hurt, as my other blog says. As you grow older, nursing a broken heart or a broken soul is not the same as taking care of a scrapped knee. Forgiveness, acceptance, prayer and moving on are the key essentials needed to overcome whatever hurt you are dealing with. You will be surprised how you emerge stronger, wiser, fiercer and confident enough to face another one on the way. 

Respect is earned, not given 
(Self-explanatory)

True friends are rare. Oh I have a lot of friends. Different set of friends, different circles. But I can count those who are really true. I don't believe that your true friends are those who were with you since your kindergarten days, but rather those who are honest with you, brave enough to accept, correct your flaws but loves you at the same time. True friends push you to greater heights; those who extend an arm, expecting nothing in return. True friends never tolerate your wickedness, brings you to the light and helping you to become a better person, and oh, those who never strike behind your back.

Climb so high, fall so low. We all run in circles. We sometimes think we are above everyone at a certain point. Being on top is quite addicting. We enjoy the feeling of being blown away by fame, luck, money and being looked up to. Yet we forget the reason why we are up there --  to be a blessing to those under us; to inspire people and lift them up; to continue what was in a circle. But life is funny sometimes. We became sinusoidal. We fall, we rise.  It is true that life knows how to make a good fall for us to realize where we stand.  

Sometimes, what we are looking for comes, when we are not looking at all. I bet some will agree with me. When we lose hope and by the moment we let go, the ones we long for appear in front of us, unexpectedly. Yes, life teaches us to be patient. Life knows when we really need it or it was never intended for you. Don't push. Life knows when you are ready and if you deserve to have it, life will give it to you willingly. Remember, great things do come to those who patiently wait. 

Being true means getting away from the crowd. When I was young, I told myself I was unique. Yet, I do what other people think is acceptable to them. I tend to compete like other people. I bought the latest gadgets to become one of the "now-ist". I put on makeup to blend with the crowd. I dress to make an impression. But now, I realized that I don't have to pretend to be adorable. Trying to outsmart the smart isn't my current scene of happiness but by respecting their beliefs, understanding their goals and being able to exchange useful ideas to improve one's self is way better. Telling people how you live a God-centered life when they see the different you, cursing and telling lies about people, oh what an unhappy life you have! I know their realization will come in due time. True people know how to spot a real one.  Not being pretty gave me my life; it made me smarter, it made me funny, I enjoy intelligent conversations, I motivate. I find time to look for my red lipstick but more time leaving it behind.

Solitude matters 
I love the company of friends. Most of the time, I am never alone. I was never alone. In fact, I hate doing things by myself. If I am crying, I want to do it with somebody even more when I am laughing. As I grow older, I realize that I enjoy being alone sometimes; to reassess myself, to reconnect with my inner child, to sort things out and to clear the mess my life had become. You need to be alone, trust me. It's one way of finding yourself again. As the saying goes, "Solitude matters, for some people, it's the air they breathe". 


Oppss, I ran out of coffee now.  I guess my other realizations shall be revealed after my second cup.


Also published on Medium.com |Nine Realizations that changed my Life|

Exploring Downtown Seoul, South Korea

Pyeongtaek-si temperature that day was -2 degrees Celsius. Our Korean friend said, it's good to go out since there was a bit sun out. For a regular Filipino who rarely experiencing this kind of extreme coldness, it was an exciting event for me. Though three days after I was there, I haven't really tried to go out for that long since most of the time I was in an office, in a car, hotel, mall or train where a heating system is on. Armed with thermal leggings, thick pants, a cotton sweatshirt, a leather jacket, a parka and scarf (which felt a bit heavy for me), I was excited to finally roam some parts of Seoul, the capital of South Korea. 

A Twosome Place is one of the coffee shops with a lot of branches around South Korea, locals consider it as a close competitor of the famous Starbucks. 

We left Hotel Bene at around 9AM, with a little bit of sun, our Korean friend Mr. Shin asked us to stop for a coffee on a nearby block. There are a lot of coffee shops from where I was staying, I admit I had a little regret of not trying some of them because of the limited time and unlimited Maxim instant coffee in the hotel. The shop was a bit specious, surprised that we were the only customers there. I ordered the usual frappucino and yes, it was good. The cake was awesomely delicious. We just stopped for a few minutes to take some photos and off we went to our little journey to Seoul. 


Inside Mr. Shin's Kia Grand Carnival GLX was one of the best joyride I had; well, aside from being in a high-end car, with a wonderful view outside, with the heated seat that relaxes your butt, with a top car window (or whatever they call it); being out to see a lot of things from Pyeongtaek-si to Seoul was a wonderful experience. It took us about an hour to Seoul. Most of the Korean people have cars, some were just parked elsewhere. South Korea as we all know manufactures top cars in the world and owning one is not that hard, even factory workers who are minimum wage earners own a car which any ordinary Filipino cannot usually have. So I took a lot of pictures with cars along the way, car-spotting was more like it. 

Amazed by South Korea's modern architectural designs 

We met Mr. Shin's wonderful family, had a quick lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Their home is located near the Prime Minister's house in an uphill. Like the usual houses  I saw on Korean TV series, we were on an uphill climb. Met his three awesome kids and beautiful wife, being with a Korean family feels like home. 

Meeting the Shin Family 

At a Chinese Restaurant with a photo-bombing cook 

Everything was so foreign to me (of course). I don't see a lot of palaces, big gates and tall buildings everywhere in my country so I tried to memorize everything I saw in South Korea. I have seen the famous Namdaemun Gate, Gwanghwamun Gate, the statue of the Hangul founder King Sejong, entered Deoksugung Palace, some shrines, subways and others. When you read about their historical past, I admire South Korea even more. 

Interesting and beautiful Deoksugung Palace 

Shopping may be one of a girl's hobbies and believe me, when I entered Shinsegae, I wished I was a millionaire. If I was a Shopaholic, this would be my everyday destination. Seoul Tower is visible at a distance. It was a bit disappointing. I couldn't go there since it was a bit foggy and our time was limited. 

Shinsegae and Seoul Tower

My feet ached from walking. Coldness has reached my skin even with my layered clothes. I lost track of the names of the streets and intersections we were in. We also went thru a traditional market, which I unfortunately forgot the name, I think it was Dongdaemun or Namdaemun Market.  Shop a little souvenirs and eat some traditional street food, I had fun.

Typical day at their traditional market

We had our dinner at one of the restaurants at Insadong Street. It was one of the busiest streets I've ever seen. There was a section where all sorts of handicrafts, jewelries, kikay stuff and other souvenir shops.  I have captured a lot of things  ---  from people, shops, food, lights, buildings and experience the typical life they had there. 

Colorful  lights at Insadong Street

I was able to roam a small part of Cheonggye Plaza, where the Cheonggyecheon Stream was located. The plaza was amazingly lit. Bright lights from buildings and from the stream adds the romantic ambiance of the place. I was amazed at how the people of South Korea were able to preserve it. 

Colorful Cheonggyecheon Stream and Jong-Ro Tower

My day ended with a happy heart. Though I was not able to capture the whole Seoul, but at least I was able to see some parts of it.  I was amazed at how people preserved parts of their pasts, though some left a very painful memory during those past wars, hardships and all those foreign invasions. The country has been able to gather itself from all those hardships and emerged as one of the promising countries of the world. I was glad I was able to share some sites with you. 

Ocean Suites : Serenity at its best

Solitude, a word that sounds lonely and isolated, shutting yourself off with the rest of the humans. But some people who are pretty occupied with work, stress and anything that consumes them  find ways to revive themselves, anything to get themselves back. Isolate themselves from the world, it is true that solitude matters; for some people, it's the air they breathe. I don't believe unhappy people often isolate themselves; there are some people who find simple happiness alone with nature.

I was home for the weekend. I had to admit that being at home is always a relief for me : no phone calls associated with work that could ruin your day, my mind is free from always thinking of ways to improve managing the operation and the people, no paperwork to work on, no meetings to attend to.  Just pure bliss at home, enjoying my family whom I miss the most and playing with my adorable  baby nephew.

She appeared smaller from the outside but looks can be deceiving, so I've heard.

One fine Sunday afternoon, I decided to isolate myself from people, er, not literally people per se, but I wanted to be with nature for a few hours  -- with a cup of coffee, of course. Ocean Suites was my destination that day. 

Relaxing, isn't it?

Talicud, Island Garden City of Samal

Mark has been urging me to go to Talicud Island. So when his birthday came, he decided to bring the whole family, picked me up in Cebu  to experience this interesting island. 

It is true that you got to have a lot of patience getting here.  The trip was a bit exhausting but once you get to Kaputian Port, you can now glance at what lies ahead of you. 

White sand beach front at Kaputian Port

When we arrived at Sta. Cruz Port in Talicud, the port water was  clear, unlike the usual ports I've been to. School of fish can be seen at a distance, water color ranges from green to deep blue.  A small motorized boat took us to a private resort. Having been born in Bohol Island, the usual view is always normal for me, but when I got to Talicud, it was another awesome experience.