"if drinking makes you angry, when I drink, I want you more and more and more...", a Dishwalla song blared loudly at my eardrum. I grabbed my headset controller to lower its volume. I smiled for a moment and went on with my work. I can't help but think about it...
My dad usually drinks and it's somewhat disturbing that I tend to do what he usually does. When I drink, I felt relaxed and my messy head seem to enjoy the comfort it brings. Don't get me wrong; I'm not a hardcore drinker like the one you have in mind; someone who's wasted and hanging around with heavy drinkers acting like life would end after the last drop of alcohol in their glass -- ahh, pretty nostalgic but NO, I'm not like that.
In college, drinking was like a normal thing to do with the generation I was in ; drinking in between classes, going out after school, after group studies or working on our design projects (tough to be an engineering student, you know). Drinking seem to be a good company. I have come to realize that life back then was simple. So simple. Simple yet trying to survive. When I graduated, I felt the pressure rising at the back of my neck. A different kind of pressure. A pressure to take care of yourself, develop the sense of independence since you can no longer depend on parents. I admit, I was a bit afraid, the future I was realizing when I was ten years old finally came and I remember the mixed twisted feelings dwelling and trying to eat me alive. I was like, I am not running away from something I don't want but rather running away from something I am afraid to want. What if I can't make it? Or what if, if I have what I truly want in life, can i keep up with it? I left out a chuckle, I was young then, and I remember it freaked me out.
But I survived.