Coffee, My Constant Drug

I have to admit I am a bit addicted to it. With my work where sometimes coffee is needed and especially during those times when boredom, stress or sleepiness visits me, I appreciate a cup of coffee.

Aside from being an anti-oxidant, coffee just brings in the calmness I need and somehow it became my usual companion when I need one.

No, I am not here for any brand-campaign. As a coffee-addict, trying out various coffee beverages happens to be part of the urge of “wanting more and more” of it. Aside from the health benefits I get from coffee-drinking, the following are my realizations why coffee has been my constant drug.

1. Coffee keeps me awake

Obviously, this is the main reason it exist. To keep me up all night, studying for school examinations, ward off sleepiness when I’m on night shift at work or anything that should keep me alert, coffee has been my usual companion.

2. Coffee stirs my creativity and imagination

I can write better with coffee. It must have been the effects of caffeine but coffee has been my constant source of inspiration when I write, as perhaps, this blog. Coffee cultivates creativeness and somehow fuels my imagination. I tried writing without it once, it was awful.

3. Coffee reduces stress

Let’s face it, coping up with stress happens everyday. In my case, work gives me a lot of stress and this is one of the reasons why I’d consume about four mugful of coffee a day (well, except from the fact that it’s quite addicting). The sound of brewing coffee, the bitter aroma of it, hey, it works.

4. Coffee lets me enjoy the company of friends

Drinking coffee in cafes is one of the good excuses to get together with friends. Intelligent conversations or merely chitchat about mundane things, being with friends is never a dull moment. Coffee just makes the meeting more fun and enjoyable.

5. Coffee cures hangover and migraine

I admit I was a weekend drinker when I was younger and waking up with a hangover the next day was my usual scene. Black coffee happens to be one of my immediate solutions. Migraine is such a nuisance for me especially at work but relief may be taken with a cup of black coffee.

6. Coffee helps me enjoy solitude

Solitude, we need it. To be with ourselves again. To get in touch with our inner child. To assess what shall be our next move when Life tries to play games on us. To enjoy our stillness. To energize us. To appreciate nature. To hear The Voice within. Coffee allows me to breathe. Coffee allows me to ME again.

7. Coffee makes me happy

I couldn't deny the fact that coffee makes me happy. As I mentioned earlier, the sound of brewing coffee seems like music to my ears. Its aroma wakes up the sleeping part of me. It calms me. It soothes me. It helps me enjoy little things in life. It helps me appreciate time, stillness and that time-stopping moment when you are having your first sip. Coffee makes me understand Life even more.

And so I thank God for making coffee.


Also published on Medium.com |Coffee, My Constant Drug| 

Couples who fight and make up : Don’t worry, it’s healthy

 

Can a fight strengthen a relationship? Depends.

Perhaps, you've been asking the same question too. Let’s face it : even people who are madly in love with each other will fight eventually. Certain arguments often test the couples’ love, respect and patience with each other. Having conflicts and arguments does not mean they are not compatible and fighting does not always have to end up in messy breakups. As long as the couple is having a “fair fight”, it may strengthen their relationship because they COMMUNICATE.

If you are in a relationship where common fights are inevitable, let me list down the positive side of it. Normally, couples who fight a lot may go through these five phases to a stronger bond — or goes into a breakup.

We love

When we love, apparently our significant other glows in front of us : flaws tend to dissolve hoping these shall change during the course of the relationship. A love that is strong, we tend to think NOTHING can break the relationship apart.

We argue

We compromise a lot. It may not always be 50/50, at times 60/40 or 70/30 but we compromise. Out of respect. Out of love and for our significant other’s happiness. But we get tired eventually and when we do, we go into little rebellions. We tend to fight for what we want, what we deserve, what we thought as “this time, it’s my turn.”. We tell our significant other our side, we persuade the other person to accept the idea that we are correct. We argue.

We fight

This is the highest form of argument when both parties don’t agree: fighting. It may be cold wars, giving each other space, word wars or anything associated with emotional pain. In this phase, we realize that the same person who makes us happy is the same person who makes us sad. Communication happens at this point. Mature couples try a respectful, structured way of confronting issues or fair-fighting (no blaming, talking softly, sticking to the issue, listening, looking for a common ground, being open minded, etc). This is also a make-or-break phase; either we stay or leave.

We make up

When we decide to accept the situation, the essence of true love sets in. By embracing conflicts, we realize we have a lot to learn. Cooperation ends fighting. Respect plays a big role when resolving conflicts. Love should be the core value of the relationship. Trust cultivates the bond. Prayers strengthens faith. Acceptance provides relief. We make up to let the other person feel more special. We forgive and move on.

We love even more

Everything feels brand new. We let go. We list down the lessons learned. We rebuild our trust and adjust expectations. We accept that everything in this world is not perfect and that we get hurt and bounce back at some point. We realize that unconditional love is patient and kind. We make peace. It takes two souls to make the relationship work. As long as there is a strong love, both can endure through any trials and circumstances. Forgiveness becomes the default button in resolving conflicts that strengthens the relationship.

Having a healthy relationship depends on the couple. Love, respect, acceptance, forgiveness, patience and having a God-centered life are essential for a long-lasting relationship.

First published on Medium.com |Couples who fight and make up|